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I’m so sick and tired of people promoting fat acceptance. “Society” tells you you’re never going to be good enough. But being overweight (and this goes for people with eating disorders who are underweight as well) is a HEALTH PROBLEM.You’re not born fat-you choose to be overweight. Exercise and eat healthier- NOT because “Society” thinks you’re ugly- but because you will live a longer, healthier life!

Dear Troll:

Before spouting your “everyone knows”, no evidence, not science, not helpful advice in blog spaces where your input was neither asked for nor welcomed, I very strongly suggest that you actually read the material presented in said blog.

In case your attention span is so painfully short that you can’t possibly make it through more than a single entry, or that your research skills are akin to the average 5 year old’s - here are a few select bits of reading that you really should try to make it through, because - well, not only are you inapprorpriate, you’re wrong.

http://www.nutritionj.com/content/10/1/9  - “Randomized controlled clinical trials indicate that a HAES approach is associated with statistically and clinically relevant improvements in physiological measures (e.g., blood pressure, blood lipids), health behaviors (e.g., eating and activity habits, dietary quality), and psychosocial outcomes (such as self-esteem and body image), and that HAES achieves these health outcomes more successfully than weight loss treatment and without the contraindications associated with a weight focus.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/02/health/study-suggests-lower-death-risk-for-the-overweight.html?hp&_r=1& - “The report on nearly three million people found that those whose B.M.I. ranked them as overweight had less risk of dying than people of normal weight. And while obese people had a greater mortality risk over all, those at the lowest obesity level (B.M.I. of 30 to 34.9) were not more likely to die than normal-weight people.”

http://healthland.time.com/2012/09/05/can-you-be-fat-and-fit-or-thin-and-unhealthy/ - “In a new study by U.S. and European researchers, published [PDF] in the European Heart Journal, overweight and obese people were found to be at no greater risk of developing or dying from heart disease or cancer, compared with normal weight people, as long as they were metabolically fit despite their excess weight.”

Yours with actual thought,

~M

THIS!!  So much this — If people applied these standards to the weight loss instructions and OMG-fat-is-deadly claims that get touted every day, I bet there would be almost none that got repeated more than once!

THIS!!  So much this — If people applied these standards to the weight loss instructions and OMG-fat-is-deadly claims that get touted every day, I bet there would be almost none that got repeated more than once!

When “helpful” and “supportive” are actually condescending

The other day I saw a post on FB a number of times - it was a status that had gone viral, posted by someone who saw a fat person running at a track and decided to sort of kind of say something they though was encouraging.  Lots of folks were applauding them for being supportive and adding comments like “hey even if they just did one lap, they are doing something!”

I neither commented nor re-posted this because something about it was bothering me.  I couldn’t quite put it into words, but reading it left me feeling like the person who had been seen running was being used, judged, measured for their worth somehow…. and it left me feeling not just uninspired, but angry.

Yesterday on my feed I saw a response from the object of the original post  - where he talks about how totally wrong the story about him that the original poster ‘made up’ really was and how insulted he was by the entire message. (you can read both parts here: http://groupthink.jezebel.com/inspiration-youre-doing-it-wrong-1540633035/@burtreynoldsismyspiritguide1?utm_content=buffera4420&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer)

And then this morning I stumbled on a discussion in one of my belly dance groups where someone who’s personal journey included weight loss was trying to insist that her experience of being healthier and happier at her new ‘straight size’ weight was the one true right experience, and that her ‘preaching’ to overweight people about how wrong it was to love your plus size body as it is and how important it was for them to lose weight, was the right thing to do if it motivated even just 1 person to do it.

and now my thoughts are a little clearer….  Strangers, co-workers, acquaintances and passers-by certainly don’t need your unsolicited advice on what’s right for their body, and you know what?  Friends and family members actually don’t either.  If they want to hear from you about your personal experiences or thoughts on the subject, they will ask you for them.  To make the assumption that they really do want (or need) to hear it from you implies that they aren’t even smart enough to ask for themselves.  It says that you think they are so clueless that they are completely unaware of the pleuthera of messages they received every single day from billboards, TV, magazines, radio and movies about how society believes their body is a bad thing and that they could not possibly have done any thinking for themselves, done any of their own research, or come to any of their own reasonable conclusions about their own bodies.  That they couldn’t possibly *know* anything about the subject at all.  And that is not at all supportive or helpful - it’s rude, condescending and, well, mean.

There is a world of difference between hearing someone say “I started running every day and I’m loving it!” and replying with “Hey that’s awesome!”  and seeing someone running and assuming that they just started and need your help to make sure that they continue because their body happens to be fatter than yours.